Jesse Sunderson Not Guilty

Yesterday, October 27, the ALP jury returned a verdict of not guilty in the case of The School v. Jesse Sunderson. While everyone agrees that Jesse has a few anger management issues, the prosecution was unable to prove beyond a shadow of a doubt that he intentionally caused damage to the lockers in question. The amazingly beautiful Judge Bieberich ruled the court with an iron fist, while the incomparable bailiff, Miss Fitzpatrick, was able to keep everyone safe from all harm. The only mishap of note was the extortion of cotton candy by Attorney Minear from Juror Lewis the fifth. Foreman (or Forewoman in this case) Youmans announced the verdict to the court amid many mixed reactions. One witness was heard to remark, "I still think Jesse is a bit of a firecracker!" More breaking news in the weeks to come!